by dengler
30. June 2009 04:28
Having practiced law in the area of Domestic Relations I can attest that the divorce rate among the elderly is increasing. Divorce lawyers are seeing couples divorce after 30 years of marriage. In the past year I have seen divorce after 48 years and one after 39. In each instance the attorney and the family and possibly the guardian need to be aware of the effects of early dementia or early onset Alzheimer's as causes for the break-up. It is popular for comedians to blame Viagra and it has come into play but most often it is the change in personalities that comes with the aging process that leads life partners to become unstable.
I actually filed a guardianship action that was thwarted by the wife when she hired an attorney who complained for divorce. The divorce action trumped the guardianship sought by the husband and the very adult children each took sides. The reality was a bitter fight disposing of a lifetime of assets. Throughout the process the mental illness of the wife was present but divorce courts are reluctant to pursue a request for a competency exam. The facts must be extreme to derail a divorce by raising mental illness because of a stroke or dementia.
The other aspect of divorce for the guardian is that now guardians will see more and more of their wards come form a divorced background. Divorced rates plateaued in the 1980's and now linger just below 50 % but the entire social network is disrupted by a divorce that might have occurred 20 or 30 years earlier. Studies have shown that the relationship between children and their parents are effected by divorce. It is particularly true for father and their children. So once where coresidence or in kind services from a child to an elderly in need parent might be the norm; in families of divorce the relationships that were frayed decades ago have a real-time impact for the guardian today. It is one of the reasons guardins will note that the care of elderly falls into the care of strangers because the relationships that were relied upon in the past may have been fractured by divorce.
It is important to understand the effect upon the family from a divorce that may have happened years earlier in understanding why the person needs help now. And when confonted by a potential divorce in the present it is important that the professional understand that the dynamics leading to the dispute may have more to do with health.
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