You may have seen on TV an ad for Philips Lifeline Communicator.  It is essentially a $1 per day small device that a homebound person wears like a chain around their neck.  If there is an emergency, a button is pressed and Philips based out of Massachusetts is notified and responders are sent. Philips will attempt to talk to the person via a phone call through the senior friendly phone that is provided or through an additional speaker box.

Sometimes seniors or the disabled might find it difficult to use a cell phone or forget to carry it with them. If your ward has a mobility issue than a service like the one Philips provides to 700,000 people makes sense and is not so costly.  Philips can be contacted at 1-800-543-3546 if you need additional information.

I read this great article on Christmas eve in the Columbus Dispatch

One of the most important jobs of a guardian is to keep track of the times you visited your ward at a nursing or group home if that is where you find them. Just last night I was visiting my own mother at a rehab facility. Now she seems to be completely competent at 82, but I can see the difference in treatment because the staff knows I am a lawyer and involved in the guardianship business and most importantly am keeping track of what I am seeing.  My mom has complained about not getting her medications at the right times and about rude treatment by an aide.  Her roommate confirmed the complaints. It is remarkable how some staff that work at nursing homes do not seem to like their jobs and treat all patients like unruly children.

Well, they should be listing the complaints they receive directly from the patients on their charts. They do not! It is information that might show a pattern of neglect and therefore better not to list.  But the fear of litigation is a powerful deterrent and if you demand that your complaints on behalf of your ward be documented and that you are recording the same.  Your client will get better care.

My Mom hit the nurse’s button and was not supposed to use the rest room without assistance. The response took more than 20 minutes. Now she is on a diuretic and it is hard to wait. The aide finally showed up and said, well just do it in your bed. You have to be kidding! She wasn't and believe me these understaffed and undertrained statements are coming out everyday to our wards who find themselves relying on the care of others.  Let the facility know up front that you will document the issue in your own case notes. Our software allows the guardian to keep track of case notes and are searchable. Contemporaneous notes are admissible as business records if litigation is needed in the future. We have to put the pressure on the residential care-givers to keep them honest and accountable.  Vary the times you come to visit so your schedule is not predictable.  If they know you show only at 4 P.M. then maybe they will not bathe your ward until that time.

Do not be shy about letting the residential care facility know that your job is as an advocate on behalf of your ward.  Let them know that you keep electronic records even if they do not.

Three years ago at this time Facebook had 12 million users. At the beginning of 2009 it had 150 million users. As we hit December of 2009 Facebook has 300 million users.  The fastest growing demographic is users over 35.

I say put grandma and grandpa on Facebook.  We need to teach them the skills and create applications for ease of use. At first they might not understand what a “Wall” might be and perplexed if someone asks them to accept chickens for their farm.  But the one thing Facebook can do for seniors is allow them to socialize.  There is nothing more important in maintaining a healthy lifestyle than continuing to socialize.  Too many of our wards, our parents, aunts and uncles become isolated by physical immobility and the loss of friends to death and the movement of families from home communities.

The lack of socialization can slowly give way to earlier onset of dementia and Alzheimer’s. Studies have shown that the healthiest seniors are those that continue to lead busy and interacted lives.  It’s not on Facebook yet but we can create social groups built around military units or ships or graduating nursing classes from the 40’s and 50’s.

A welcome expenditure is to buy your mom a laptop and set her up on Facebook, Also if the grandkids accept her as a friend then maybe they will be less likely to post compromising pictures of themselves that they would regret later.

Associated Press

TWIN FALLS, Idaho -- A former community guardian in Twin Falls has been convicted of stealing more than $6,000 from a 93-year-old woman in her care who is suffering with dementia.

Forty-eight-year-old Cindy Laws was charged in March with felony abuse or neglect of a vulnerable adult. She entered an Alford Plea this week, which means she acknowledged there is enough evidence to convict her even though she didn't plead guilty.

The Times-News reports the plea is part of an agreement reached with prosecutors. The charge carries a maximum penalty of 10 years in prison and fines up to $20,000.

She is scheduled to be sentenced Sept. 28.

Laws has also been accused in a separate case of stealing $351 from another client.

Read The Story Here

Have you ever taken an aged client or your parent and the doctor or nurse refers them as sweetie or sugar or some other term of endearment?  I know the doctor is trying to show compassion and connection but the opposite often occurs.  It is a way of saying I don’t take you all that seriously and need to address you in a patronizing way, Seniors get offended by health care professionals who treat them like children.  A male doctor would not refer to a 36 year old female client as sweetie and he should not refer to an 83 year old female any differently.  It is the subtle use of words that convey a relationship that is not level.  The people we bring to their doctors might be frail and fearful but most are of sound mind and understand that they are being talked over.

I am suggesting to all of the well intentioned professional to refer to the elderly in a more respectful manner as Mr., or Mrs. or by their first name if they have a solid relationship.  Never ask the son in the room if the Mom is acting confused when the Mom is sitting right there. It feeds into their sense of hopelessness that their guardian or child is the only one that can be trusted with medical questions. There may be a time for such questions but they should be done outside of the presence of the patient.

You might order your eggs at a roadside diner and call the waitress sweetie, but you should never call an aged patient sweetie. They know as much about their condition as the doctor does and has seen more, like the ravages of war, life raising a family, and making tough decisions at work.  Always err on the side of treating our elders with respect.

Having practiced law in the area of Domestic Relations I can attest that the divorce rate among the elderly is increasing.  Divorce lawyers are seeing couples divorce after 30 years of marriage.  In the past year I have seen divorce after 48 years and one after 39.  In each instance the attorney and the family and possibly the guardian need to be aware of the effects of early dementia or early onset Alzheimer's as causes for the break-up.  It is popular for comedians to blame Viagra and it has come into play but most often it is the change in personalities that comes with the aging process that leads life partners to become unstable. 

I actually filed a guardianship action  that was thwarted by the wife when she hired an attorney who complained for divorce.  The divorce action trumped the guardianship sought by the husband and the very adult children each took sides. The reality was a bitter fight disposing of a lifetime of assets.  Throughout the process the mental illness of the wife was present but divorce courts are reluctant to pursue a request for a competency exam.  The facts must be extreme to derail a divorce by raising mental illness because of a stroke or dementia.

The other aspect of divorce for the guardian is that now guardians will see more and more of their wards come form a divorced background. Divorced rates plateaued in the 1980's and now linger just below 50 % but the entire social network is disrupted by  a divorce that might have occurred 20 or 30 years earlier.  Studies have shown that the relationship between children and their parents are effected by divorce. It is particularly true for father and their children.  So once where coresidence or in kind services from a child to an elderly in need parent might be the norm; in families of divorce the relationships that were frayed decades ago have a real-time impact for the guardian today.  It is one of the reasons guardins will note that the care of elderly falls into the care of strangers because the relationships that were relied upon in the past may have  been fractured by divorce.

It is important to understand the effect upon the family from a divorce that may have happened years earlier in understanding why the person needs help now.  And when confonted by a potential divorce in the present it is important that the professional understand that the dynamics leading to the dispute may have more to do with health.

At eGuardianship.com our clients are people that take care of other people. There is no higher calling. The genisis of this professsion can be found in the founding principle of every religion. And as our world moves us faster and faster and with greater and greater distance between us - technology can be part of the fabric that holds us together. It can be the means of communnication that allows us to make sure our mother is getting the best care or that a verteran is sure to have a home. Reporting on visits or reporting to a court are all done with binary precision.

I have had this debate over many years with friends. Some believe that as the world ages we grow apart. They see the world as tribal warfare, disconnected crimes and people simply tuned out. I believe the opposite. If we can find more common languages, our world shrinks. Math is universal. It is the basis for technology. It allows the foundation of the explosion of social networking. It allows a guardian in Alaska to check the medical records of her ward in a flash who was treated in Texas. It allows this blog. Technology is an unifying force.

And the people who are engaged in the most noble of professions will use it to bring their care closer to those who need it.